As we go on we remember...all the times we've...shared together.

On Tuesday I went to senior convocation and experienced my first real feeling of bittersweetness about graduating. Today was the last day of school! MY last day of school! What!? We also had graduation rehearsal today. That's when it all became real. I'm graduating in 9 days! I still have to pass my genetics and ecology final (so i can't REALLY relax until next Thursday, may 7th, when final grades are posted...but then it's official.)

It all happened so fast. I'm wishing I would have had more time to hang out with a lot of awesome people. There are so many people in my world here at Mars Hill that I always intended to or wanted to get to know better or invest more time in. It sucks that time has gotten away from me and any chances I have to be with these people are slipping away! I will miss my close friends here very much. But it's the acquaintances or friends that I didn't actually hang out with outside of classes, scholarship meetings, blueprint, or seeing them in the caf...that I'm lamenting even more. Those are the people who I might not have ever said much to...but they've meant a lot...just seeing them...having them in my bubble...around me....that's something I'll miss. It's the people that I would exchange a friendly (or sometimes flirty) smile with almost every day that I regret not having taken the time to invest in. The friends that I would say "yea sure...we'll totally hang out soon!" and then we never did...I feel pretty crappy about those relationships. I've appreciated having these people in my life so much...I just wish I could convey that to all of them!

There have been so many awesome memories...every semester has been a new and different experience. I'm so thankful for my time here and all the wonderful people that have put the color into my life.

In my newly forming adult life...I want to:

• invest in my relationships more
• make a recipe scrap book
• learn to cook
• read novels
• stop stressing out so much!
• be intentional
• life live on purpose

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HDM3eYp4KQ

Burnt to a crisp...

Not only am I burnt to a crisp from this recent emergence of glorious sunshine....I am also officially burnt out from school.

Especially now that it's beautiful outside...it's getting increasingly harder for me to concentrate. I can't fully enjoy the sunshine...but I also can't fully concentrate on school. It's actually pretty miserable and has left me in constant panic and worry. I don't like it!

I have two tests tomorrow with I feel pretty unprepared for. Every time I've tried to study, my brain shuts down and I get wayyyy overwelmed. This is a bit scary. I would hate to make it this far (13 days!!) just to fail miserably and disappoint everyone around me including myself.

I can't think like that though. I will make it! I've come too far to give up now. I got this.

I finally went onto the roof of Moore Auditorium the other day (a Mar Hill College must for every student). It was pretty awesome. You have to climb this scary metal ladder wayyyy up and then you walk along the rafters and crawl out a door onto the roof.
I enjoyed that immensely :). So I'm officially ready to graduate.

I've been listening to that Graduation song by Vitamin C alot lately. Haha...good stuff.

I'M SO READY!!

And the winner is....

I chose to do the college program at Disney World in FL!

CA was just wayy too expensive and unrealistic. Maybe I could transfer there later...but for now I'm very content with my decision to go to FL. I'm excited to be living there again...especially since it will be near my extended family which I don't get to see very often. I will be there from August 12-January 2. :) In the mean time, I'm going to try to get my old retail job back at Nordstrom in the Mall of Georgia. I hope that works out so I can make some money before I go to FL.


13 days til I graduate!

Lyrics.

I got accepted into the Disney College Program at Disney Land in California! Now I have a decision to make. FL or CA?

Whether or not I like a song usually depends on whether or not I connect with the lyrics in someway. I love lyrics. I get pretty darn impatient with songs that have really long intros because I love the lyrics so much. I totally think in song lyrics and movie quotes. So when I was trying to put into words how I am feeling about getting accepted into both Disney World and Disney Land College Programs...these words came to mind from the musical Wicked:

That's why I couldn't be happier
No, I couldn't be happier
Though it is, I admit
The tiniest bit
Unlike I anticipated
But I couldn't be happier
Simply couldn't be happier
(spoken) Well - not "simply":
(sung) 'Cause getting your dreams
It's strange, but it seems
A little - well - complicated
There's a kind of a sort of : cost
There's a couple of things get: lost
There are bridges you cross
You didn't know you crossed
Until you've crossed
And if that joy, that thrill
Doesn't thrill you like you think it will
Still -
With this perfect finale
The cheers and ballyhoo
Who
Wouldn't be happier?
So I couldn't be happier
Because happy is what happens
When all your dreams come true
Well, isn't it?
Happy is what happens
When your dreams come true!

-Glenda the "Good" Witch

It's really interesting how this has all hit me. My dreams have come true...I should be bouncing on the walls with excitement, right!? I'm learning that dreams are pretty scary once they become reality...that's when you have to think about all the little details like money and time! Either way I'm going to miss thanksgiving and Christmas with my family. Either way I'm missing out on priceless time with my nephew, my pets (especially my dog, Molly, she's getting pretty old), and my family. Either way I'm moving out and who knows if I'll live at home again. Either way I'm becoming an adult! Just as the song says "'...Getting your dreams, It's strange, but it seems, A little - well - complicated. There's a kind of a sort of : cost,There's a couple of things get: lost"

Yesterday I was leaning towards Disney Land. Today I'm leaning towards Disney World. There are pros and cons to both. Ultimately I need to spend time praying and asking God what HE wants me to do. For all I know HE might not even want me to go to either one. I need direction...I've always struggled with praying for things...perhaps this is a great opportunity for me to conquer that.

There are 20 days until I graduate. Yay!!!!!!

I'm doing my Senior Seminar Presentation on Monday! Ahhhh! I keep going back and forth between being crazy nervous and being really calm about the whole thing. I just want to get it over with! I've been freaking out about this for about a year...I can't believe it's finally here! Yikes!

Prickly

I graduate in 23 days. I love that. Really I just love that this whole stressful time will be finished. It's making me find fault with everything and everybody...it's not the Jenny we all know and love. I just need some alone time lately just to de-stress. Soon the stress will be over...I just hope I don't go too insane before it does.

BTW...Guess what!?
I got accepted into the Disney College Program at Walt Disney World in Orlando, FL! Heck yea!
That's pretty freaking sweet! I'm still waiting on Disneyland in CA (my preference). But either way I suppose I'll be working for Disney in the fall. You would think I'd be crazy excited right? I'm actually seriously nervous and scared of the commitment I'm about to enter. But I'm sure I'll do great and love it.
I think I just have random commitment issues sometimes...anything long term scares me. Which is why I dislike committing to long term projects...I like short term goals. They are so much less scary and do-able. I suppose that's just my personality...maybe I don't believe in myself enough or something...who knows.

In other news...


I got my cap and gown!! Yay!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Check this out...My brother's band, Stellate, is in AP magazine!! He's the second one from the left. I'm so freaking proud! I carry the pages around with me everywhere I go.


ALSO... A friend of mine, Ashley Griffin, is a graduating art major and I'm in her art exhibit this weekend at my college (sadly I can't be there)! She took photographs of a bunch of people with a creative item that defines them. (I took a picture with the t-shirt quilt that I made this past summer.) She made the person black and white and bumped up the contrast of the item. It looks pretty awesome...I'm so proud of her! Here's one of the invitations:


My photo of the invitation is pretty crappy...but you get the idea!


I also finished my senior seminar paper...but I don't have a nifty photo for that yet.